End
of the Monsoon - Domestication and Homelessness, Spiritual Security
The
main monsoon rains ended quite abruptly in mid-September, with a
flourish but without too much drama. As I mentioned in the last blog,
the journey across the rocky plateau when it is wet is not so easy,
so early morning showers are not welcome. However, they do occur, and
the morning of our last big rain was especially challenging. I heard
the rain begin at about 2:30 am as I was meditating.. Accepting that
the path would be wet, I thought, 'No problem as long as there is no
lightning or strong winds, and, hopefully, the rain will ease by 4 am
when I begin my downward journey'. Lo and behold, at about 3:45 the
rain began to ease, so I got ready to set off, realising that it
would still be quite wet under foot, with puddles and the odd stream
still flowing. Since the area is mostly rock formations, it is
exceptionally prone to flash floods. Ideally, if one can wait one or
two hours, by then most of the rainfall has already flowed away.
However,
just as I was stepping out of the shelter of the cave the rain began
again, and then it decided to really rain! The paths soon became
streams, the streams became torrents and the main stream became a
white-water nightmare (or paradise if you are a white-water kayaker).
Fortunately there was not much lightning, so I splashed my way along
the pathways, forded the surging streams heading towards the bridge
across the gorge. With heavy rain like this there is always the
question, 'Will the bridge still be standing?', and, if so, 'Will it
be passable?'. While still several hundred metres away I could hear
the raging of the stream flooding down the valley, and as I turned
the last corner saw that the bridge was still there, with the surging
stream shooting along one metre below it. So, checking that the
bridge was still secure, I quickly crossed over and made it to the
hall for the morning almsround.
Flood waters surging under the bridge.
My
'Rainy Season Retreat' ended on November 25th.
This was quite a physically challenging retreat for my increasingly
ageing body. I expected my daily three hours of walking to be a
workout, but in fact the real challenge was the heat, for which there
is little relief except during brief rain showers. Adding to the
challenge, my feet, ankle and left knee were uncomfortable for nearly
two months. However, some extra rest, massage and use of a knee brace
finally took effect, and all three parts eventually went back to
functioning normally. When I am able to surmount these challenges and
retire to the Nibbana Cave, the silence, tranquillity and solitude
there are priceless.
The ending of the rains also means the ending of the flower season. This is the field which was burnt off in January -- it is heartening to see how resilient nature is to human's destruction.
Being
in a remote, secluded place can have a special effect upon the mind.
I think this partly has to do with it being so 'undomesticated', so
that there are a natural rawness, unfamiliarity, poignancy and
directness to it. I would define a 'domesticated' environment as one
which is designed to be as safe and comfortable as possible for
myself. However, in the process I think something gets left out or
forgotten. Domestication can induce a numbness of feeling, a dullness
of the senses and a lack of clear awareness due to familiarity.
Homelessness
The
Buddha seems to have recognised the benefits of lack of
domestication, as he encouraged those who were serious about
spiritual liberation to undertake the simple and unencumbered
lifestyle of 'homelessness'. This was mainly to allow for devoting a
maximum amount of time and energy to spiritual practice, undistracted
by involvements in the domesticated 'home life'. However, it also
provided the opportunity to develop a number of qualities beneficial
for supporting spiritual efforts.
The
Buddhist strategy for liberation is based upon relinquishing grasping
at self-identity in its various expressions. This strategy involves a
number of different approaches, one of which is the practice of
homelessness. While normally reserved for those who have undertaken
the monastic training, it can also be applied to anyone seeking true
liberation – it
is as much an attitude of renunciation or relinquishment as it is a
particular form or lifestyle.
Ideally the lifestyle supports the attitude.
The
Buddhist scriptures describe the household life as too confined and
note that it is not easy to live the spiritual life in its fullness
while living in a home. The home life has many characteristics, but
probably the main one is possession, specifically of a dwelling and
what goes with it. This can of course be the source of a strong sense
of identity, as being someone who owns property and possessions
(whereas in fact property and possessions often come to own you!).
Most
people appreciate or even require some sort of protection from the
elements, whether it is their own personal home or not. In a country
like Thailand with only moderate temperature changes, people still
need shelter from the monsoon rains, and it is convenient to be
protected from the scorching sunshine and irritating creepy crawlies.
The Buddha even laid down that monks should spend the three months of
the monsoon season (July-October) in a suitable lodging.
The
way which the Buddha provides residences for the Sangha and avoids
the need for personal ownership is through communal ownership. Thus
all major articles, such as property, buildings and furnishings, are
owned communally by a body known as 'the Sangha of the Four Quarters,
present and yet to come'. In most non-Buddhist countries, however,
this rather amorphous entity is not recognised, so religious
charitable trusts have been set up to own and manage monastic
properties and possessions under the guidance of the Sangha, although
not all of them precisely accord with the Buddha's model.
Security
and Comfort
Among
the other characteristics of the 'home life' which may contribute to
increasing the sense of self-identity are: safety/security and
familiarity, and comfort and convenience. In fact our life is not
always going to be safe or comfortable;, that is why we have to make
a conscious effort to seek these factors out. We are being constantly
stalked by ageing, sickness and death, and we are continuously
buffeted by changing physical and mental conditions, not all of them
pleasant.
Of
course, some degree of safety and comfort is necessary for a sense of
well-being, but when do they become hindrances to spiritual
liberation? If we try to create too much safety, we may be lulled
into a state of complacency and lack of vigilance. Too much comfort
can incline to lethargy and a lack of effort. How often do we simply
fall asleep when we are relaxing comfortably? When does seeking
security become avoidance?
Safety
and security are provided by an environment which is protected and
solid. Basically, the thicker the walls the safer we feel! But this
solidity is really an illusion, feeding the delusion that objects or
things are actually permanent. And by assumption this illusion
carries over to our view of our own body as a permanent, reliable
entity. Safety and security are also supported by familiarity.
However, familiarity can easily slip into blind habit, and it is
habit, assisted by memory, which seduces us into believing in a
permanent self structure. 'You' have seemingly consistent memories
(except perhaps as you get older) and 'you' are known as the person
with certain particular habits and traits. And
comfort is also supported by convenience. I can conveniently get my
desires and wishes fulfilled, thus re-affirming the efficiency and
efficacy of self-identity. I can have all my conveniences to make my
life as comfortable as possible.
The life of voluntary homelessness can help to remove, or at least limit, the effect of some of these supports for self-identity, mainly through having to develop skilful qualities not always important to people in the home life. Thus without a fixed, permanent 'home' to live in we do not feed the sense of possession, ownership or control. Our self-identity is not tied to a place and we are much freer to move to new environments as they suit our changing situation, to which we also become more sensitive. The negative side of this is that we could also become irresponsible and ungrateful for the lodgings we are offered. Thus the Buddha also laid down guidelines for the responsible use and care of communal property so that it is maintained for the benefit of future Sangha members. Also, as Ajahn Chah frequently used to point out, are we just trying to escape some unpleasant situation by constantly moving, or are we moving to find suitable places to investigate the self which is disturbed?
Not
having our own fixed abode also gives the possibility to face more
directly the reality of insecurity, 'Where will I find shelter? Where
will I sleep tonight?' It is, of course, necessary to have some
reasonable degree of safety. However, real security requires an
increased degree of wisdom and vigilance. The wisdom part is knowing
about possible dangers in the place where we are staying and gaining
some knowledge about prevention. We can do this in two different
ways: one is to gain the appropriate information and the other is
through direct experience. For example, experience I encounter fairly
frequently is bewilderment and confusion from losing the path down
from the cave, which is often so irregular, and the light from the
headlamp so focused, that within seconds I can suddenly step off the
path. It is a very interesting experience to be someone who knows
where they are and where they are going, and then suddenly becomes
totally bewildered and disoriented. But if one does not succumb to
bewilderment or its associated panic, it is fairly easy to simply
stop and re-orient oneself, or take a few backward steps to where you
were so confidently on the path.
Vigilance
is necessary to avoid threats to safety. And of course, if we are not
always in the same environment we are less likely to fall into
familiar, repetitive and often mindless habits that keep
re-affirming a particular self-identity. Vigilance has several sides
to it. On the one hand we notice much more than we normally would,
and can become hypersensitive to the environment and our own changing
mind states. This heightens our awareness that everything is in
constant flux, but can also heighten our sensitivity to the dangers
inherent in life – one wrongly placed step can result in a fall, or
a loss of mindfulness may lead to an encounter with a dangerous
creature.
Every
morning I usually have at least one 'snake scare', mostly minor but
on a few occasions a major one, even though I can recognise most of
the 'snaky roots' on the path. However, branches are continually
falling, the flooding rain moves branches and leaves in new
formations and sometimes the moving lamplight throws up unusual
shadows. Around here snakes are the only thing to be seriously
concerned about. There are also scorpions and poisonous caterpillars
which can give a nasty sting, but only snakes (or a major fall) could
lead to serious injury or death. There are a few 'venomous and
potentially fatal' snakes in the area, but most of them are not
aggressive. One needs to either harm (i.e. step on) or
frighten/surprise one before it would waste its venom on a pesky
(i.e. non-edible) human. It saves its venom to obtain a meal.
However, there is need for a certain degree of 'snake vigilance' so
as not to unmindfully harm or surprise one.
On
one of my early morning journeys down from the cave, before I was
familiar with the various roots, I got quite a serious fright. A
black s-shaped figure with white markings suddenly came into view on
the edge of my light-beam. Here a black snake with white stripes is a
'banded krait', one of the deadliest kinds of snake. I paused for a
few seconds and then, noticing that the figure did not move, I
stepped closer to investigate. It was a nicely curved black root and
the markings (not actually stripes) were white sand splashed onto it
by the rain drops. Wow, that was a new one for me!
My
only actual snake encounter on the morning walks took me completely
by surprise. My conditioning was to be vigilant for snakes weaving
across the path. However, my close encounter was with one which was
coiled up on the edge of the path waiting to strike. Also, because it
takes a few milliseconds for the brain to process a visual impression
into a usable perception, it took my mind a brief moment before
'snake' registered in consciousness. By this time I was already in
mid-step, since I was moving quickly through the forest to keep ahead
of the mosquitoes. My foot touched down millimetres from the snake's
mouth, but only briefly before I leaped into the air to get clear. I
stopped to check out the creature, now several metres away and was
later able to identify it as a Malayan pit-viper, one of the
'venomous and potentially fatal' ones.
As
I continued on my way I reflected on what I would do if I was bitten.
Since this was potentially a venomous snake, I would probably just
find a convenient place to sit down and meditate as I calmly passed
away. However, I later read that current medical advice is to remain
as calm and immobile as possible (so that the venom does not travel
quickly and directly to the vital organs), yet make your way to a
medical facility for treatment. I was over one kilometre from the
main hall and some 40 kilometres from a hospital!
Comfort Level
While
it is necessary to establish some degree of comfort even in a
temporary environment, we are not always able to establish the same
level of comfort as we are used to, which our self defines as
comfortable for us. Thus many times our 'comfort level' is
challenged, with the result that we learn to expand it, perhaps even
to levels we never imagined possible. We also learn what our own
'comfort level' is. I found, for example, that now this ageing body
is not able to sit comfortably on a hard, flat surface. In most
monasteries in Thailand the monks sit on thin rush mats, with no
'cushions' or zafus
for support. Senior monks may be given a thicker sitting mat with a
backrest, but cushions are considered only for use under the head
while sleeping, and thus should not be sat upon!
Convenience
is also challenged by homelessness, as we are not always able to have
our preferences satisfied. A home is usually a place where we can
build our own comfortable environment with every convenience, so we
can constantly get whatever we want. In other words, we build an
environment to suit our desires, rather than have to surrender our
desires to live in the environment as it actually is.
Spiritual
Security
Thus,
as the Buddha recommended, living a life of homelessness can help us
cultivate many useful spiritual qualities, which not only support the
deeper realisation of the Buddha Dhamma of impermanence,
unsatisfactoriness and impersonality, but provide many benefits for
dealing with life's everyday challenges. We have much more (inner,
spiritual) security and comfort from developing beneficial qualities
than from trying to artificially create an apparent secure and
comfortable (external) environment.