Departing Canada, Abhayagiri Visit, Thailand, The Power of Silence

November 2016

Greetings from Wat Pah Poo Jom Gom once again.

I arrived here exactly one month after departing from Birken, and in some ways the contrast couldn't be more striking. While the autumn frosts at Birken had sent the leaves on the deciduous trees flying long ago, here at Poo Jom Gom it is exceptionally green and hot. Some unusual late-season rain has given the vegetation a new burst of verdant life and even the delicate monsoon wild flowers are still in bloom. The mornings are a refreshing 25C, while the afternoons warm up to 30+C.

I mentioned to some people that I might stay at another monastery, Wat Pah Tum Seang Pet (The Radiant Diamond Cave Forest Monastery) in November. However, the situation there is still not completely clear, so it was decided to postpone any visits until things are properly arranged.

After leaving Birken my travels took me to the Sunshine Coast, northwest of Vancouver, where friends had organized an afternoon talk and meditation in the very suitable Sechelt Botanical Gardens. Surprisingly, nearly sixty people turned up, even with some last-minute cancellations. A number of people did journey from Vancouver, however, and members from various local meditation groups participated. Fortunately I was also able to stay for a few days to meet with Dhamma friends and visit several places along the very scenic coastline. One special highlight was visiting the museum of the native Indians and learning about their long connection with the land, estimated to be 16,000 years! We often forget how 'new', and thus how impermanent, our modern culture actually is.

After a few days in the Vancouver area, I then caught the ferry to Victoria on Vancouver Island. The very active Victoria Insight Meditation Group had arranged for me to give a day-long workshop on Saturday and the weekly Sunday night talk. The workshop, held in a large house with spacious grounds, was well-attended by a diligent group of meditators, and the Sunday talk gave occasion for some engaging questions. Quite fortuitously I was offered dental cleaning and examination just as tooth pain was increasing, resulting in an emergency root canal before beginning my longer travels. Anumodana to Rhonda and those who helped cover the expenses.

Recordings of the teachings in Victoria can be obtained from the following addresses:

October 29 2016 Retreat recordings 

http://victoriaims.org/?p=7123

Oct 30 2016 Sunday Night talk recording

http://victoriaims.org/?p=7131

My next stop on my way to Thailand was at Abhayagiri monastery in Redwood Valley, northern California. I had not visited Abhayagiri in nearly ten years, and it was quite a revelation to see all the changes which have taken place during that time. The monastery has just celebrated its twentieth anniversary and has now almost completed the original plans to provide all the facilities suitable for a full-fledged Forest Monastery. The finishing off of the new Dhamma Hall/ Kitchen complex was still under way, but the main structure is in place and will hopefully be usable by the New Year. Ajahn Passano and the Sangha have gone to great lengths to design the 'perfect' facility, complete with children's play room, depository for departed ones' ashes, rooms for elderly monastics and ample storage. The very attractive Dhamma Hall has under-floor heating and under-ceiling cooling, with a covered 'over-spill' area for larger events, and is adjacent to the large commercial-style kitchen, but sheltered from it by a central storage area. All the facilities are, of course, earthquake-proof and wheelchair-accessible, and will eventually link in with the present toilet facilities, office-complex and eating hall through a covered cloister around a garden, when the faithful old house is removed.

New Dhamma Hall and Kitchen on right, old house in middle, present Dhamma Hall on left.

Of course, Ajahn Passano has not only been busy with building projects, but has also put substantial energy into 'building' the Sangha. There were nearly twenty resident monastics, two Anagarikas and one Novice receiving the precepts during my stay, with a very comprehensive and thorough training programme in place. Some twenty-five huts are carefully spread around the steeply-sided valley, providing opportunities for solitude in the exceptionally quiet environment. I had forgotten how remote the monastery is in heavily-populated California (more people live in California than in Canada!) However, it is on a minor road through the mountains, even though quite easily accessible from San Francisco.

My Saturday night Dhamma talk and photos of the Precept Ceremony can be found on the Abhayagiri website.

The Power of Silence

Some people ask me why I prefer to frequent the more remote and sometimes not so comfortable monasteries, rather than those with more comfortable facilities. One of Ajahn Chah's teachings, presented as a word-play on two key Thai terms, is that the aspiration for a monastic is for peacefulness ('sangop') while that for the non-monastic is for comfort ('sabai'). While I do appreciate some basic comforts, my main interest is being in an especially peaceful, quiet place which is very supportive of meditation, and such places are increasingly harder to find in this ever-busier, ever more crowded world.

In the simplest way we can say that silence manifests in two distinct ways: externally and internally. Thus someone could be in a very silent place and yet not 'hear' the silence owing to the noise in their own mind. Conversely, someone could be in a very noisy place and yet still hear the inner silence of their own mind. There is also the silence which is merely the absence of noise, and the silence which is ever-present. Of course, the real crux is to remain in the ever-present silence when the external noise contains elements which could lead to greed, hatred and delusion. The two main types of silence, the external and the internal, are also inter-relational, especially in the sense that the outer silence can support the inner silence, and the inner silence may help us hear the outer silence.

The Buddha recommended quiet places for meditation. The mind which is continually processing noise is in a more activated or aroused state, which is not conducive to a quiet state of mind, whereas a quiet, peaceful environment allows the mind to settle into a more relaxed, open and receptive state. Indeed, probably the most important aspect of living in a quiet environment is that it allows us to hear more directly the noise in our own minds. When attention is not occupied with processing noise, it is available to notice many other things. And this can help us to investigate the fundamental sources of the internal noise and enable the possibility of freeing the mind from its disturbances.

When my own mind quietens down somewhat, I can then hear the mental processes more clearly, whether it is thinking, planning, memories or whatever. This also works the other way around -- if I notice thoughts arising, I just need to turn my attention to the outer silence and my thoughts quiet down, as if they have just been absorbed by the engulfing external silence.

Silence, whether external or internal, allows us to see the bigger picture, the picture unlimited by our self-reference. Like gazing into the star-filled night sky or across a vast landscape, listening to silence reminds us that we are infinitesimal specks within the eternity of space and time. All our nagging worries or precious thoughts are actually of little importance in the greater reality of things.

The silence, of course, is always there. Thoughts come and go, some return, but the silence remains. And when thoughts fall silent, there is just the vivid present moment in all its immediacy – just this. No plans, no worries, no fears, no doubts. Just clarity, lightness, vitality. Someone who has experienced the great peace of the deep inner silence gains confidence that it is readily available and ever-present. Our practice is continuously cultivating the means to reclaim the silence which is the inherent nature of the mind.

In the middle of December I will leave the outer silence of Poo Jom Gom for several weeks in Bangkok to visit the dentist, give a four-day retreat and a talk in Thai and respond to several invitations. This is always a test of the ability to keep connected to the inner silence in a particularly noisy environment (without resorting to merely blocking out the noise). Before Christmas I should be back in Poo Jom Gom for a quiet 'Festive Season' and New Year celebration.

Wishing you all peaceful holidays and a rewarding New Year.

September 2016

Greetings from Birken Forest Monastery, near Kamloops, British Columbia.

After arriving from Australia in early July, and a flurry of family visits, I came to Birken in time to enter the Rainy Season Retreat on July 20^th. We are five monastics: three monks -- myself, abbot Ajahn Sona, and Ven. Santacitto, a Canadian ordained in Thailand; a Norwegian novice, Nandaka; and the long-term Thai nun, Sister Mon.

The main house with 12 bedrooms, meditation hall, kitchen and eating area.

On the one hand, the monastery is situated deep in the wilderness, on a plateau at 1,200 meters elevation, with the nearest permanent neighbor fourteen kilometers away. Other than an occasional vehicle passing on the rough gravel road or a plane flying overhead, there are no other man-made sounds. It is quite an amazing experience to stop wherever one is and listen to the all-pervading silence, interrupted by brief bird calls, the chirping of squirrels or the shwooshing of a passing breeze. Of course, with the external silence one's thoughts echo loudly in the mind! However, one of the first steps towards calming the mind is to observe what all the mental noise is about. Is it really necessary? What is its effect on the heart?

On the other hand, it is sometimes hard to realize the isolation, since there are many signs of human occupation. The area has been extensively logged over many years, so there are indications of human disturbance at frequent intervals. Patches of artificial pine plantations dot the landscape, old logging roads criss-cross the countryside, free-range cattle wander around, and there are remnants of previous habitations.

The old logging roads are very useful for wandering through the area, since much of the older forest has become a maze of fallen pine trees, victims of the pine beetle epidemic which has devastated vast areas of forest in western Canada and the USA. This peaked about ten years ago and the dead trees are now toppling over throughout the forest. It is also possible to walk through the pine plantations - if one is very mindful, as they are underlaid with the scattered debris of the logging industry, which very wastefully just harvests the larger trees and pulverizes all the smaller ones.

One of the most impressive displays of the remnants of previous inhabitants is the 'Ghost Town' about two hours' walk from the monastery. This is a collection of around a dozen abandoned houses which were once the lodgings of the workers and their families at a busy sawmill. For some reason the sawmill closed down and the village was completely abandoned. From the vintage of the abandoned cars it appears this happened in the late 1950's or early 1960's. A number of the houses are showing their age, with collapsed roofs, broken windows and surrounded by vegetation. It would certainly make a good movie set for one of those post-apocalyptic films!

I decided to spend the Rainy Season Retreat here at Birken partly because I was visiting Canada anyway, and also as an opportunity to continue work on another book. Ajahn Sona very generously offered to support any of the senior monks who wished to have a retreat, and has been exceptionally accommodating for my 'retreating', as well as several excursions I made for teaching in Vancouver and to visit family. I spent a very comfortable and fruitful Retreat here in 2012, when I was able to finish the 'Treasures' book.

Shortly after I made the arrangements to stay at Birken, I received an invitation to spend the Rainy Season Retreat in Bali. A very devout family in Denpasar, whose youngest son is a monk with U Pandita in Burma, is working towards developing a Forest Monastery in the hills north of Denpasar. This is near the mother's native village, at an elevation of about 800 meters. A small hermitage has been established in a Chinese cemetery, and a hall, kitchen and teacher's hut built in the outskirts of the village. I would have very much liked to help support their project, but having already agreed to stay at Birken and committed to the writing project, I had to decline for now.

Although I tell some people for simplicity's sake that I am on a book-writing retreat, in fact producing a book is secondary. The main point is that I am working on a theme for contemplation, and, if it works out a book may manifest! While working on the 'Hindrances' book I came across a terse but poignant phrase: 'I-making, mine-making and the underlying disposition to conceit', which appears a few times in the Pali texts. I wondered what this meant, but unfortunately no direct explanation was given, although related teachings kept cropping up in various places throughout the Pali scriptures. After completing the 'Hindrances' book I started to investigate this theme further, without at first fully realizing the profundity of the topic. But it gradually began to dawn on me that it related to some of the deepest and most significant of the Buddha's teachings, including the teachings on non-self/non-soul, the Five Groups of Grasping, and Conditional Causality. It didn't take long for me to realize that clearly understanding these themes could easily take a lifetime, or maybe several!

I have thus changed my original idea of writing a detailed book on the original theme of 'I-making'. Instead, by the time the Retreat ends and my travels begin, I will hopefully have completed a study-guide or handbook of references, notes, and reflections which I, and anyone else interested in this theme, can continue to use for further investigations.

As many people familiar with the Buddha's teaching know, the second of the Factors of Awakening is 'Investigation of Dhamma'. Dhamma has two main meanings: the Buddha's teaching, and all things. Or we can say that the Dhamma as the Buddha's teaching is a particularly skillful way to view all things, in order to help us 'see things as they really are'. I have known about the value of investigation of Dhamma for some time, but this has been reinforced by some of my recent studies regarding the conditioning of consciousness by its contents. That is, consciousness is conditioned by what is in the mind and what is in the mind conditions consciousness. Thus, in a simplified sense, if we focus our mind on skillful themes, this can have a beneficial effect on our mind.

One of the most noticeable examples of this occurred a few days ago. I returned to my hut after a shower to do some writing and found that I had nothing to write! I felt as if I had lost the thread of the theme I was working on, Dependent Origination. However, since for me the early evening is the best time for writing, I thought that maybe I could at least work on some of the other chapters, which were still just a jumble of unorganized notes and references. I then spent nearly an hour sifting through the notes, collecting related notes together, deleting duplicates and transferring some notes to other chapters. Then next morning during meditation, various reflections related to the chapter I was working on arose. I was pleasantly surprised, since in the evening I was merely doing what I refer to as 'left-brain, donkey work': just sorting through information, but not actively trying to absorb or understand the material I was attending to. However, somehow it must have filtered down to a deeper level of consciousness, and the next day it bubbled up as insightful reflections.

On another level, though, the benefit of investigation of Dhamma is to help us step out of our limited world of constant self-reference. In order to investigate deeply, one needs to quieten all one's preconceptions, presumptions, expectations and, if possible, all one's cultural conditioning, in order to open as much as possible to what the Buddha is explaining to us. This is where external and internal silence is so helpful, if not always so easy to find. Thus I have been balancing my time between conceptual study and meditation practice or mindful walks in the silence-enshrouded wilderness.

As the Rains Retreat ends I will have several teaching engagements in Sechelt on the Sunshine Coast, north-west of Vancouver, and Victoria, (www.victoriaims.org) and then will make a short visit to Abhayagiri Monastery in California before returning to Thailand for the winter.

Wishing further insightful practice to all.

With Metta,

June 2016

Greetings from Dhammagiri Monastery, near Brisbane, Australia.

I arrived here on May 31^st after spending a few days with John and Hanna in the Tweed Valley, northern NSW. A small but very interested group of people participated in a day workshop on May 28 and a slightly larger group attended the Monday evening meditation.

View eastwards from Lammington National Park, Queensland.

I had an exceptionally beneficial two and a half month stay at Wat Buddha Dhamma. As many people recognize, everyone's temperament is unique. And while it can be very useful when we are young to stretch ourselves beyond our personal boundaries, as we grow older we may find that we are no longer so stretchable, and that it may be more energy-efficient to settle into familiar patterns which we have found to be beneficial. Thus I have observed that a beneficial situation for myself is one where I am able conveniently to have a moderate mixture of physical exercise, mental exercise (study, reading, writing and teaching), and spiritual exercise (formal meditation practice). Every place I have visited has its benefits and limitations, but the one which has provided the right balance of all these factors is Wat Buddha Dhamma. This year the weather was superb (if slightly on the dry side), so I had the opportunity for almost daily excursions around the National Park, including two day-long trips in opposite directions along the Great North Road. The solar-powered lighting allowed me to spend many evenings studying the Pali Canon and other materials (which may coalesce into another book). And the exceptionally quiet, natural environment was very conducive to especially productive meditation.

If we add to the above mixture opportunities for both socializing and solitude, we may have a very suitable combination of situations which are favourable to a balanced approach to spiritual practice. The Buddha often referred to developing a combination of spiritual qualities to support the furthering of spiritual endeavour: for example, the Eightfold Path, the Seven Factors of Awakening, the Five Spiritual Powers, etc. Of course, each person has their own individual strengths and also weaknesses. Unfortunately, often our inherent tendency is to emphasize our strengths (which give us a sense of confidence and success), and shy away from our weaknesses (which often give us difficulty and embarrassment). However, this attitude is just playing along with the game of self – 'I' is propped up by strengths and humbled by weaknesses. Thus in the Buddhist spiritual practice of deconstructing 'I'-making, we become wary of our strengths and encouraged by our weaknesses! The Buddha's solution is to develop a careful balance of the whole range of spiritual qualities.

Also, the wisdom which is thereby generated should penetrate and be integrated in all aspects of our being. The danger of not being spiritually integrated is that one will not be 'awakened completely', not completely in tune with the way things really are. I would say that this is not even really 'spirituality', since I define 'spiritual' as 'wholeness', being in tune with the whole field of reality or truth. Being partially in tune is not too bad, but it still misses the point of spirituality and, unfortunately, has often been the source of no end of confusion, disillusionment and scandal. Thus if spirituality is not integrated into physicality, it is disembodied; if not integrated into emotionality, it is disaffected; and if not integrated into mentality, it is dissociated. All these three states are incomplete and thus cannot be encompassed in the ideal wholeness and completeness of true spirituality. I would say that the Buddha was well aware of this and hence gave the instructions for developing mindfulness in regard to body, to feeling and to mentality, in order to give rise to a balanced understanding of all these aspects of our being.

View of the Senior Monk's lodging at Wat Buddha Dhamma.

While residing at Wat Buddha Dhamma I offered most of the weekly Saturday night Dhamma talks, and also gave a short retreat on the theme: 'What is the cause of this thought?' I was studying the Buddha's teaching on Conditional Causality at that time and thought this might be a useful theme to investigate. Most people, unfortunately, do not know much about this aspect of the Buddha's teaching, so that when some challenging thought or emotion arises they immediately react to it, not realizing that most of the time that thought is simply the result of some deeper underlying issue. The teaching of the Four Noble Truths tells us that unsatisfactoriness is due to a cause and is only resolved when the cause is removed. Also, in practical terms, when we turn our attention towards the cause of our mental activity, the mental activity itself often ceases, since we are not giving it special attention. The talks I gave can be downloaded from http://www.wbd.org.au/audio/others/ There is also a video at http://www.wbd.org.au/video/

I was also at Wat Buddha Dhamma for the visits from Ajahn Dtun in March and LP Sumedho in April. These visits, and the public talks in Sydney, attracted a large number of people to the monastery, but Ajahn Khemavaro arranged the programme along the lines of a retreat format, so the atmosphere was very meditative.

My 2 ½ month stay in Australia quickly expired and I reluctantly had to make a move. Fortunately New Zealand is not too far distant, and I had an invitation from Ajahn Kusalo to visit Bodhinyanarama Monastery, where I had been resident for nearly seven years. Unfortunately, I had to pack quite a lot into my 17-day visit to Wellington, with numerous talks, chats with friends and several outings. I made a point of visiting the group in Palmerston North, where I recognized many familiar faces and noted that some regulars had moved elsewhere.

In spite of the inclement weather, a crowd of about 200 devoted supporters gathered at the monastery for the very joyful Vesak ceremony on May 22^nd. Fortunately, a number of monks from Thailand and Europe have expressed their interest in spending time at Bodhinyanarama, so it appears that Ajahn Kusalo's hard work of maintaining and expanding the amazing facilities and the exceptional generosity of the lay supporters will be suitably used.

Ajahn Dhammasiha had invited me to spend some time at Dhammagiri Monastery, as he was planning on making a visit to Europe in June. However, in the end he cancelled his trip and decided to spend the month in silent retreat, as Ajahn Hasapanyo, Venerable Buripanyo and I were all resident during that . time. Dhammagiri Monastery is another place where I can continue my three kinds of exercise, although the main emphasis here is on mental exercise. The guest monk's room where I stay is equipped with a large desk and electricity, and is right beside the library. Also, many of the supporters are quite experienced and knowledgeable practitioners, who provide interesting themes for the daily Dhamma discussions.

There is the possibility for numerous walks, as the seventy acres of woodland on top of the hill where the monk's huts are located borders a Conservation Reserve and Lake Manchester Water Catchment. However, there is only one main route out of the monastery, over some fairly steep terrain, although it does afford some extensive panoramic views in all directions. Thus it isn't so easy to go for a 'gentle stroll'. In fact, it seems that many of the bush tracks are for use mainly as fire-breaks, as some of them are so unbelievably steep that it is hard to imagine any wheeled vehicle using them.

A view of Lake Manchester reservoir near Dhammagiri (on a rare drizzily day).

The reasonably quiet location is quite suitable for meditation. Most of the public activities are conducted during the first half of the day in the Dhamma Hall at the bottom of the hill, so from about 1 pm until the next morning the residents are undisturbed by visitors. Every day there is a Dhamma discussion from 11:45am to 1pm, and on Sundays there is a session of chanting, meditation and teaching from 3pm to 5pm. During my stay I gave most of the talks and meditation teachings, which can be viewed on the monastery website macrosocio-economic

I will interrupt my stay at Dhammagiri to offer another meditation day on Sunday July 3^rd at Ratanagiri, John and Hanna's property in northern NSW, on the theme 'The Process of Self – Making and Un-Making – in Buddhist Perspective'. Shortly after this I will travel on to Vancouver, where after visiting family I will reside for the Rains Retreat at Birken Forest Monastery near Kamloops, British Columbia.

Wishing you all diligent and beneficial practice.

View from Colongatta northwards towards Gold Coast (the tower blocks in the distance).

March, 2016

Greetings from Wat Buddha Dhamma, near Sydney, Australia.

I arrived here on February 27^th after spending a few days with my old friend John Barter in North Sydney. As in previous years, John invited me to offer some teachings at his psychology practice for the Thursday morning, and evening meditation classes and a day-long workshop on Saturday.

Since I had a free day on Friday, John and one of his students, Stephen, took the day off work, and together with Stephen's son and brother-in-law we took an excursion to Ku-Ring-Gai National Park north of Sydney. The park is a series of forested promontories stretching out into Broken Bay, where the Hawkesbury River flows into the Tasman Sea. Needless to say, there are a number of viewing points looking across the bay to the headlands of the Central Coast to the north, Lion Island in the middle of the channel, Barrenjoey Lighthouse and Palm Beach on the east, and the long Pittwater estuary to the southeast. As for much of the coast of Australia, innumerable beaches nestle between precipitous headlands. We clambered down one rugged track to a hundred meter patch of golden sand, guarded by a jagged cliff on one side and a steep, thick covering of Australia bush on the other, as huge waves crashed onto the beach, churning the water yellow with swirling sand.

Towards the end of last year, following the end of the Rainy Season Retreat, I travelled to Bangkok for several invitations to teach and visit some doctors. The main teaching engagement was at the Young Buddhist Association of Thailand meditation centre. The retreat, with 145 diligent meditators, was very well organized, so I only needed to make an appearance in the large meditation hall for two sessions of instruction, and the evening talk and Questions and Answers session. Fortunately, Ajahn Piyasilo from Chiang Rai was able to assist me with translation and leading the walking meditation. The organizers were keen that I should lead the retreat again next year.

I then returned to Poo Jom Gom for another few weeks before joining in the circumambulation of the memorial stupa on the last day of the Ajahn Chah commemoration ceremony. This year saw a larger number of senior Western ajahns than usual, including Ajahn Pasanno, Abbot of Abhayagiri Monastery, USA; Ajahn Sucitto, former abbot of Chithurst Monastery, UK; Ajahn Karuniko, the new abbot of Chithurst Monastery and Ajahn Kusalo, Abbot of Bodhinyanarama Monastery, New Zealand. I stayed on a few more days to participate in the Wat Nanachat Community Day, where 35 monastics from nearly 20 countries introduced themselves and shared their experiences of the last year, and then returned to Poo Jom Gom once again.

Wintertime in Thailand is the fire season, when the villages burn off the excess vegetation from their fields so they are ready for planting when the monsoon arrives. However, a few restless individuals also set fires illegally in the National Park. The park rangers said that these fires enable the villagers to harvest special mushrooms which grow in the ashes of burnt leaves, and obtain more bamboo shoots from the new growth of the burnt bamboo clumps. Needless to say, I only see the devastation caused by these seemingly random fires, and am moved to extinguish them whenever discovered. Fortunately, my vantage point high up the mountain enables me to see the first hints of smoke and I am usually compelled to hurry to the spot to extinguish the fire.

This year I only had to extinguish six fires, only three of which caused me excessive exhaustion. The worst one was at midday during strong winds, quite near to one of the huts. I stumbled across it on the way back to my cave and just managed to prevent it from getting close to the hut. Unfortunately, I didn't have a broom or rake with me, and after nearly half an hour of raking fire-breaks with my bare hands in the midday heat, had to give up when the flames got into the dried-up meadow and blazed two meters into the air (see photo). However, while retreating and pausing to take photos, I noticed that on the edge of the meadow there was a large patch of barren ground with only a few leaves scattered about. It would be quite easy to make a fire-break there, so I spent another half hour sweeping a clearing between the leaves with hands, feet and branches, and was able to contain most of the advancing fire. Fortuitously, Novice Mahaviro came along and together we managed to contain the rest of the fire.

Unfortunately, perhaps due to the meagre monsoon rainfall, there was not much of a 'cold season' in Thailand. One morning the temperature dropped to a bone-chilling 11°C, and a few mornings it was 13°C. The cold is heralded by the cool northeast wind, of which I took advantage to make a few extended excursions deeper into the park. It is quite an exhilarating experience to explore new territory, perhaps due to the excitement, bordering on anxiety, of stepping outside one's familiar environment. This, together with the need to maintain extra vigilance in order not to get lost and discovering unusual sights, combines into a memorable adventure. Even though I usually take a different route each day to return to my cave, the act of branching off into completely new landscapes is often like spreading wings.

I have been reflecting upon the reason why being in nature can be so peaceful and relaxing. When I leave the Sala to return to my cave I notice increasing relaxation the further I go from the Sala. This effect continues until I am about 500 meters into the park, approximately where I meet the first expanse of rocky outcrop with wide-ranging views of the mountains in Laos. It seems that this relaxation is related to the falling away of reference to my 'social self'. In nature there is no need to think about how I should act or what I should say; no real need for any self-reference other than getting this body reasonably comfortably to the shelter of the cave within a suitable time. I notice the opposite effect when I am approaching the areas of the monastery where people reside. I become more aware of time, what I will do next, who I might meet first, start to recall any significant events, etc. It is as if I again take up my persona, with all of its self-reference, associations, expectations and memories which previously I had mostly put aside or at least held very lightly while in solitude.

Most people appreciate the fact that we each have our own personal physical space, of which we often are only aware when someone invades it. I think we each also have our own personal psychological or 'psyche' space. This is usually much more subjective, in the sense that some people are more 'self-conscious' than others. For example, some people could walk through a crowded street and not be too bothered by others, whereas for other people even seeing one other person may cause reactions. (Of course, how much of the non-reaction is due to sensitivity numbness or sensory shut-down?)

To a large extent we live in our own self-centred world, assaulted by sensory impingements which we need to process with some degree of vigilance and effort. And much of this processing requires some self-reference, if only to determine whether or not there is danger. In an environment where we are impinged upon by human sounds, our 'social self' is also activated, and for many people this is where much dissonance and unease occurs. Being in quiet nature, on the other hand, can often be very relaxing, soothing and even psychologically healing, since it involves no or little self-reference. Even exciting nature can be 'relaxing', in the sense that we can be (temporarily) transported 'out of ourselves' by the exceptional experience, and come away refreshed, invigorated, and perhaps awestruck into inner silence. Many people appreciate spending time in nature, either to let their self-referencing quieten down, or just take a holiday from their busy 'selfing' activity.

During the briefly cool weather I twice journeyed up the dried-up stream bed and returned over the neighbouring 'mountain', which afforded an unusual view of the familiar Jom Gom mountain and the rocky promontory where my cave is situated. While the landscape in the area is not what one would call spectacular, it is quite unusual in comparison with other nearby landscapes. Just north of the neighbouring mountain is a huge expanse of barren, rock flowing gently down the slope like a lava-flow and then breaking up into a collection of massive boulders as it drops steeply into the narrow valley of the main stream. Meanwhile, the mountain is topped by huge rectangular sandstone blocks, scattered like some giant's Lego set.

Jom Gom 'mountain' on left, rocky outcrop of the Nibbana Cave on right side. Laotian mountains in background.

On my second journey up the stream bed I encountered several rock faces which would be quite impressive waterfalls in the monsoon. One of them was nearly 15 meters (50 feet) high, staggered in three stages. The first stage was a six-meter high sheer wall which looked like the end of my travels. However, tucked behind a block of stone was a narrow passage where I was able to climb up to the second level, a rippled ledge in front of a jumble of massive boulders. I clambered through them into a sunken basin, to face a seven-meter high wall of rock which at first resisted my attempts to climb higher. However, by stacking up several small boulders I was able to pull myself up onto a large rock and manoeuvre myself over further rocks along the sides to the third level, a broad, gently sloping plate of rock with several water-filled troughs. One of these troughs, miniature bathtub size, provided welcome sweat-cleansing (although I was sweating again in 10 minutes!) After an easy two-meter climb I was in the stream bed, in a broad valley nearly at the top of the plateau.

I noticed that it was now 3 pm and that I had been walking for three hours, meaning that unless I could find another route back I would have to retrace my steps and return just before nightfall (although I did have my head lamp with me). Thus I first needed to discover precisely where I was. The visible landscape did not look familiar. The cliff-faced hill off to the right was either the mountain north of Poo Jom Gom seen from the west, or some mountains in Laos. I turned sharply the way I had come and wandered through some woods and across a rocky outcrop to a high ridge and there it was – a vast panorama spread out before me. Almost straight in front of me in the distance was the large, golden Buddha statue at the Cave Monastery and in the far distance the mountains bordering Cambodia. Off to the left was the neighbouring mountain where I had been a few days previously, and beyond was Poo Jom Gom.

Thus knowing where I was, that I had about 2 ½ hours until dark and was now down to the last of my water, I decided that I would take a chance at a short cut down a stream bed I had seen previously beyond the neighbouring mountain. This should take me quickly (i.e., straight) down to the valley, where I could meet the path up to the Tea Cave, the closest source of water and a quick shower before dark. The risk with unknown stream beds, however, is that there is the possibility of meeting an impassable barrier such as a cliff, chasm or underground cavern. This would mean either retracing my steps or crashing through the thick vegetation on the banks of the stream. Anyway, if I hurried I should have ample time for some alternatives.

I briskly zig-zagged my way across the rocky ridges and valleys, across the parched, golden meadows, along the gleaming white-sand stream beds and up a steep wooded slope to the sweeping rocky plateau below the neighbouring mountain. I was making very good progress when I noticed smoke rising from several directions. Two of them were near the area where I had just been, and one was near the area where I was headed. Realizing the lateness of the day and my declining energy level, I had to forgo a return to where I had been. I also doubted whether I would be able to do anything about the fire ahead of me, but proceeded apace. As I neared the spot where I presumed the stream descended into the valley, I noticed that the smoke was rising from an area only a hundred meters further along the ridge. I decided to at least have a look at the extent of the fire. When I arrived at the scene the fire was lazily threading its way among the slabs of rock which staggered their way down the valley. Even though it appeared that the fire would eventually burn itself out upon reaching the rocky overhangs, it looked relatively easy to rake some leaves away from the edge of the streams of fire and assist its extinction. I therefore grabbed a sturdy branch and clambered over the rocky slabs to clear a fire-break between the rocks. Of course, as usual the theory was easier than the practice. In some places it was very easy to shift some leaves aside and the fire quickly came to a halt. Elsewhere the fire was deep in a crevasse, and I had to balance precariously on some sloped rock to flick the leaves away, while being engulfed in acrid smoke. After some initial success I branched out to circle the periphery of the fire (no use doing only half a job).

The going eventually got difficult where the fire was creeping through dwarf bamboo. Not was I poked, scratched and cut by the bamboo, but as it was hard to scrape a clear break through the thick vegetation, the fire constantly kept jumping the break, not to mention occasionally flaring up in a thick clump of tinder-dry leaves and stalks. However, 45 minutes and a liter of sweat later, it looked and sounded as it the fire was finally out. Since I was only 100 meters from the stream bed and already partly down the slope, I cut across the slope and soon came to the smooth rock stream bed. This was three to four meters wide and looked to be fairly easy to climb down. I had to do some clambering around some bigger boulders, but quickly dropped down the valley until I met a five-meter drop. Fortunately, this ledge was quite near to the tall bamboo along the valley bottom, so it was easy walking down to the sandy stream bed on the valley floor and up the other side, where I soon met the path gently climbing up to the Tea Cave. Within fifteen minutes I was at the water-tanks for a much-needed drink and a well-earned shower. From there it is only ten minutes' walk to the Nibbana Cave, so I took a slight diversion to a viewing point overlooking the valley. I could easily see the area where I had just descended, and was relieved that no smoke was rising, but about 300 meters along the slope, wisps of smoke were still floating over the tree-tops. By that time it was too late and I was too tired to make the trek across the valley, and the fire did not appear to be too large. I also knew that another stream came down the valley nearby, which would probably act as a natural fire-break to contain any further advance. Next day, when I again checked that area for smoke, the sky was smoke-free.

The 'last sunset' over the meditation platform on the rocky outcrop of the Nibbana Cave.

I departed from Poo Jom Gom on Feb. 10^th somewhat earlier than I had intended, as I was accumulating a backlog of material to type up because my computer had died (which is why this blog is so late!) I therefore decided to spend a few extra days at Wat Nanachat using one of their computers, before my onward journey to Bangkok and Sydney. As usual, Ajahn Kevali was most welcoming and it was especially enjoyable to catch up with a number of monks whom I had met during my stays in Thailand.

We are presently eight monastics in residence, most staying on for the Rains Retreat. I will be staying here until May 11, through Ajahn Sumedho's visit near the end of April. I will then travel to Bodhinyanarama Monastery in New Zealand, where I will participate in their Vesakha Puja ceremony on May 22^nd. On May 27^th I will travel to visit John and Hanna at their home in northern New South Wales, where John has organized a meditation day and a talk. From May 31^st I will be staying at Dhammagiri Monastery near Brisbane until July 7^th, and then on to Vancouver, Canada.

Blessings for health, well-being and diligent practice.